We talked about my struggle again on air and we put a poll up on website to see how others thought as well. Before you even jump to conclusions, no I am not deciding what to do based on what others tell me, but it’s good to see why people think the way they do.
There have been lots of comments on facebook, the website and emailed to me that I wanted to address some of the good and the bad. Here we go …
1. On our website Jessica left this comment: “Wow, are you serious? I am a mom of two so I understand the value of being with your kids; but at the same time that was very selfish to go out and audition, winning and taking opportunities away from others. This is something that should have been much more thought out. I hope you can figure out how to make being a mom and working work for you because there are plenty of moms out there who don’t have that choice.”
Several people have left comments stating that it was selfish of me to audition and that I should have thought about this more before I went out and tried out for the job. I am trying really hard to not take this personally, but I have to disagree. I don’t feel me trying out for this or winning was a mistake at all. I believe I was there for a reason and while I was there I think I did a dang good job. I never knew I could do this and I did it. I went out on a limb and auditioned for something that seemed impossible. For that I’m proud of. My kids can be proud of me. My husband can be proud of me. Heck, I’m proud of myself.
I truly am sorry that other people that also tried out didn’t get the job and that they feel as though I took something away from them. I just don’t see that.
For those that say you should have thought about this first, well guess what … we did! Lots! We prayed and asked God to shut doors, open doors, move our hearts, allow me to feel peace, allow Aaron to feel peace. We followed God with this and I don’t believe he makes mistakes or leads people where he doesn’t want them.
2. Wendi says this on our website: “You will never get this time back… They grow up so fast… Before you know it, you will be at their graduations and try to look back, but what you’ll see the most of is your career…”
So true Wendi! I will NEVER get back these days with my kids. NEVER. My daughter has two years left until kindergarten. Do you know how much her and I can do in two years. My kids will only allow me to wake them up, kiss their faces and hug all over them each morning for a few more years. I don’t want to lose a moment with them.
3. My friend Erin said this on our facebook wall: “Obviously, the decision is up to Jamie. I would say that if Jamie wants to keep working then there are certainly ways to help the kids cope with having a Mommy that works. If we followed our kids’ lead on everything they would never go to school, go to bed or brush their teeth. I think Mommies that work are great role models. Good luck with your decision, Jamie. I know you’ll make the right one for you and your family! XO”
Thanks Erin! I know Erin and know that she’s a FABULOUS mommy and also works outside the home as probably one of the best teachers in her school. I want to use her comment to show that it’s not about me thinking working is bad and staying at home is good. I just feel that right now my struggle is this and in a few years I bet this struggle will be gone. Oh the struggle …..
4. Patti emailed me at work and said this: “just heard ya’ll talking about you possibly quiting kvet to stay home with your kiddo’s. I would certainly miss you if that happened, but as a mom who has done it both ways I can tell you that you will never regret being home with your kids when they are little. I have two boys, both grown now, and was not able financially to stay home with the first one. I still regret that I didn’t somehow make it work to be able to be home with him. They are small for only a short time and you can’t get that time back. There will be so much time for you to do whatever you want when they are grown and gone. My advice, which I am sure you are already doing, is to pray about it and let God lead you.”
Thanks Patti! The best emails, facebook posts and website comments for me have been those that encourage me to do what’s best for me and my family! I have struggled so much with feeling like I’m letting lots and lots of people down with this. I’m letting down Bob, Bender, Eric, David, Joel, the list goes on and on of people I work with. I feel like I’m letting down sales people and those that have trusted me to endorse their product. I feel like I’m letting down all of the listeners that voted for me and that welcomed me with open arms and have supported me so much these past five months. BUT at the end of the day I owe none of those people anything. The people I owe my life to are these people … Aaron, Cayden, Amos, Deacon & Story. Not even Scout (our cute little dog!!!)
5. Laurie emailed this to me today: “Just wanted you to know that should you decide to go back home and be a full time mom again, you will be greatly missed. The morning show will never be the same. It has been awesome to see the show thru a woman’s eyes. Not that Bob and Bender can’t get the job done, but with you in there, you seem to keep them grounded. Your place is where your heart is, and after looking at your precious children, I see why you are so torn. I have been a listener of KVET since I moved to Austin 4 years ago. The addition of Jamie to the show has been amazing. You will truly be missed!”
Those emails are precious to me. Thanks for supporting me and validating my time on the show. Thanks!
So there are some of the comments I’ve been getting today. Monday the big announcement comes at 7:15 on the show. If you get a chance to go vote and leave a comment on our website I would love it!
Hey Jamie. I wanted to make sure you didn’t think I was implying that stay at home moms are not role models too. Of course they are. Again, I know you will make the right choice. 🙂
well i was a fan of the Austin Genuine Original KVET and not the circus it’s become recently. but thats more of the issue of Clear Channel’s decisions and not the on-air talent. while i had a few friends that tried out for the gig as well, i don’t think anyone should be mad at you. you deserve to work if you desire. it’s a woman’s right to not just be a stay at home mom. it certainly wasn’t your intention to cheat others out of an opportunity so you could just “see if you could do it”. i don’t doubt at all you want to keep doing this. but it’s hard and you have to make the right decision for yourself and your family. best of luck!
It’s been hard to comment because I have such mixed feelings on the issue, but here are some of my thoughts…
1) Kids will always complain about something. Our kids complain whenever either Mark or I have to go on a trip. I emphasis how lucky they are that both dad and I work from home ALL the rest of the time and have very flexible schedules. We do try to balance our travel schedules though and not do too much. It doesn’t seem like you’ve been doing the job very long – maybe the kids just need a bit more adjustment time. Certainly summers are roughest as the older kids aren’t in school.
2) You’re not just a mom, but your a mom to several kids who have already experienced a great deal of loss and trauma. This might mean that it’s even MORE important for you to be home with them if you feel like your job is triggering abandonment or grief issues.
3) I don’t know your exact work hours but it seems to me that, as jobs go, this one is pretty ideal 🙂 Again, Story is affected the most but it seems like you do still get to spend quite a bit of time with her. How many awake hours are you missing with the kids? And how many of those are covered by Aaron vs. a babysitter? I think it’s awesome when Dads and kids have their own time together and I know from your blog that Aaron rocks at the whole dad thing.
4) SEASONS. I always have to remember that. My life will have different seasons and some of my dreams will not be for THIS season and some will. I would love to travel the world and write stories about/for non-profits. THIS is not the season for that. Does it mean it will never happen? No. Maybe this is not the season for your radio career. (But maybe it is.) If it isn’t, then at the very least this experience will help you in the future when it IS time.
5) INFLUENCE. Yes our kids and spouse are the most important people we influence but I think you also have to look at the influence you are having on your listeners on issues of faith, adoption, etc.
yadda, yadda – really helpful huh 🙂 I have complete faith that you and Aaron will make the right decision for your family.
No not at all Erin!!! I just wanted to make sure people didn’t think I was saying working moms are bad!!! 🙂
i am with the others who think you shouldn’t have taken the job in the first place. not because you denied others the opportunity, obviously you were the best person for the job. but, because of the fact that you will make future employers doubt whether women are able to be professionals. they will judge them before hiring them as unsuitable because they will want to leave and be mothers. they will always discriminate against women because of there roles as caretakers. if you can’t do both, make sure you can’t before you stick yourself out there and ruin it for everyone else and make the employers regret taking a chance on you.
Jamie, Years ago my mom said something to me that really encouraged me. I was struggling with a really big decision and was honestly worried about letting others down or not meeting their expectations. She said to me “Never make decisions based on what others think, because they just don’t think about you that much.”
All the people who share their opinions may think about this situation for 5 minutes. Some maybe less, some maybe more.
I can hear your heart in this and, from watching you from afar, it is obvious that you are living day by day, in communion with the Lord and with your husband. What you two decide as a couple will be right.
You owe no one an explanation, Jamie. Make the decision that is right for you, and I’ll be happy to watch you continue to live a successful and fulfilling life.
A piece of unsolicited advice from the recent CEO of Apple:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
– Steve Jobs
Will, thanks for that. Best comment ever!
I just want to say that I LOVE what Will said!!
I am old enough to be your grandmother and I have really enjoyed “getting to know you,” but I think you will be much happier not working for pay. I was blessed to be able to stay home with my kids and they are over 40 years old now (how did that happen?!) and they still tell me how much they appreciate that their wonderful father and I made the decision to parent them and not farm them out for someone else to raise! Love you (even though I’ve never met you personally!). Best to you and your husband.
Hi, Jamie. i encourage you to read this blog, by Amanda Carroll. She used to be the host of the Christian radio station here in Houston. She is a single mom, with 3 kids, and working. I bet she could give you some awesome advice or at least totally understand what you are going through. Hope you have a blessed weekend! 🙂
http://amandacarroll.wordpress.com/
I see both sides, but as a working mom by choice. Your job is your time to shine, to be more than a mom, like a role model.
Neither is bad – stay at home versus working.
But if you receive satisfaction, confidence, peace and extra patience. Then keep working.
If not, put it off a bit longer and devote yourself to the kids..
O think you’ve done a great job balancing so far, but I myself struggle everyday too.
Where I’m at in life, the fact that you’re willing to quit and not let people pleasing hold you back speaks incredible volume about your priorities being straight and about your courage. I know I would stay just due to fear of man and the overwhelming fear/reality of letting so many people down. More of us ladies in America need to be like you in this way. People pleasing can be crippling and you’re avoiding that by clinging to God’s promises for you an your family- wow! There could be all sorts of purposes for why you are there, having this dilemma, etc that you may not find out until heaven!
Jamie, follow your heart and have no regrets. It’s obvious that you took the position with the best of intentions, and you did a fantastic job. I can’t imagine having a young family and getting up before the crack of dawn 5 days a week (not to mention weekend commitments) to go to work. If you can afford to stay home and you’re happy doing so, then do it! Your husband and children will always know you put them first.
That said, as a lifetime Austinite and KVET listener, I’m not happy with the direction the station is going. It seems to be becoming more “generic” all of the time – first management got rid of Sammy (yes, I know there were problems, but to me, the morning show has never been the same), then Tom Allen was told to change his Saturday morning show, so he left (he was a KVET institution, in my eyes). KVET is becoming less and less a “genuine Austin original,” and more of a station you could hear anywhere. If they get rid of the Sunday morning gospel show, I’ll just stop listening, period. And one last pessimistic note – I HATE the commercials for the auto title loan companies – what total ripoff artists they are. It just seems like Clear Channel will accept advertising from anybody these days.
I hope you forgive my taking this opportunity to vent – God bless you and your family, and I’ve enjoyed listening to you on the show!
Amen, Cheri.
Jamie, if you can afford to stay at home you must do it. You will be there for your children and it will matter. My children are probably your age and there’s a lot I don’t remember. I’d remember even less if I hadn’t stayed home. It’s worth it.
This was my Facebook status just yesterday: I think the hardest thing I have learned about being a parent is that sometimes when I choose what is right for MY family, I might be letting other people down…..hard to do! I had to hand over a commitment and it’s killing me! But, I know I am doing the right thing for my hubby and baby girl…..
I would MUCH rather let anyone else down than my own child or husband. It’s hard to do, but follow your Mommy gut….it DOES know best. I want my one and only child to know that SHE is my priority!
A good friend’s response to my status was this….and I really like it: “Sometimes you have to make decision points rather than brownie points.” Make yourself and your family happy. There WILL always be time for a career later in life, there won’t be another childhood.