Mother’s Day was yesterday and in the past few years I’ve learned that this day isn’t as welcomed and celebrated by all as I once thought it was. I once thought that if you weren’t a momma you didn’t care about the day too much and spent the whole time celebrating your own mamma, and if you were a mamma then it was a joyous day to be pampered by your children.
Except it’s not this way at all for lots of women.
Women that are so desperate to actually become a momma that every single month they grieve when their period shows up.
Women that have lost children through death. This day is a constant reminder of what they used to have. Their child in their arms whenever they wanted, and now they only remember what that felt like.
Women that have lost their moms. Celebrating the one that raised them no longer looks like lunch and a card, but now they are forced to simply remember the mom they love so much instead of actually talking to her over chips and salsa like they used to.
Women that are waiting what seems like a never ending wait for their child to come home from around the world via adoption. This day is a reminder of how close you are to being what you are so desperate to become – a mom.
Women that had to make one of the hardest choices of their lives and place their baby with another family to raise them.
You see, this day is hard for so many women.
It is so full of joy for some, and so full of sorrow for others.
Yesterday I saw a friend leaving during the final prayer at church and I grabbed her close to me and whispered this in her ear, “I’ve been thinking about you today because I know this day is so hard for you. I want you to know this – being a mom doesn’t define you. Your identity is not found in motherhood.” She pulled away and had tears in her eyes because her body is just not cooperating with her dreams of being a mom these days. Years of waiting and still no baby.
I’m reminded today as my children brought me breakfast in bed, and then 2 hours later had me so mad I could scream (I just might have) that my happiness, joy, and security is not found in them. They don’t complete me. They never can.
I heard a friend explain this so well on the Front Porch with the Fitzes podcast this week. It’s episode #32 and if you want to get straight to what I’m talking about head forward to about 24 minutes in and listen as Elyse (who will be a guest on The Happy Hour super soon!) share such great news to us as women. Our motherhood doesn’t define us.
I also was super proud of the four ladies that joined me on The Happy Hour this week to talk about their motherhood journey. Wynne shared her journey with infertility with us, Diann talked about what mothering looks like now that her kids are grown and out of the house, Alisha shares her single-mom journey with us, and Aki talked openly about what motherhood is like for her 2 years after her son passed away.
Motherhood looks different to each woman, and it was my joy to chat with these four women about what motherhood looks like for them.
If you are a momma like me and you have a lot of kids, then this tote bag is for you. I’ve been asked on numerous occasions if all these children belong to me, and so this tote is the perfect explanation!
This bag is $19.99 and the they are going to be available online for April and May!
Natalie that runs this shop is so kind that she’s giving you all a discount code!!! The Discount Code is HappyHour10 – yippee for discounts!
So … Happy Mother’s Day to all of you mama’s, and if you are just glad that yesterday is behind you, let me remind you of something. God loves you for who you are, and not who you want to be. God loves you for who you are, and not who you used to be. God loves you for who you are. End of story. You are loved for just who you are.