For the past few days I have felt useless.  Completely useless.  Wed night my back went out on me and it was the worst it has ever been.  I was unable to walk and do anything by myself.  Aaron had to literally carry me to bed.  We were both upset and scared by this pain that I was in.  It was awful.

I went to the chiroprator yesterday and he could barely do anything since I was in such bad shape.  Today I went back and we were able to get x-rays and do some work on me and get me on some of the machines.   So, diagnosis is that there is something wrong my disc.  The disc between the L5 & S1 is messed up and the x-ray showed a healed stress fracture on one of my vertebrae.  He said that shows that there has been numerous compressions on my vertebrae. He said all of it in medical terms, and that’s what I came away with!

SO …. a few observations from my useless hours at home

  • it is hard to be useless.  when everyone is doing everything around you it makes you feel bad
  • aaron is a great caretaker – he will take care of me when i’m old i’m sure of it
  • seeing your spouse hurt for you is comforting.  not that i want either of us to hurt, but to see him hurt for me makes me feel very loved
  • aaron is getting a dose of what it is like to be single parent – not that doesn’t ever do that, but he is 100% dad yesterday and today.  he has done a fabulous job!  it reminds him of all i do!
  • walking like i’m 98 when i’m only 30 is not fun or appealing!
  • i wish there was something good on tv for all the hours i have been on the couch
  • our chiropractor is awesome – he opened up his office today just for me, and might call me tomorrow to meet me up there too
  • asking for help is hard
  • not being able to pick up my boys is hard

SO there you have it.  My back hurts.  BUT it is a million times better than it was Wed night.  I’m no longer taking pain meds or muscle relaxers.  Hopefully we can figure something out so that I don’t go through this a few times a year.  UGH!

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