As I sat here today writing words about my childhood there was a mom a few tables behind me with her three year old little boy and they were having the best time. She was so engaged in him and read him what seemed like 100 books in the 30 minutes that they dined behind me. It was a bit distracting to me and I was just about to be annoyed when I realized what a precious time this is for her and for him. He loves her dearly and in those 30 minutes I listed to them she was teaching him so much as she explained everything around them to him.
I sat there and I realized how fast time flies. For me to think back to when I had one child that was that young seems like a lifetime ago. To remember the moments with my babies where I was teaching them all about numbers and letters seems forever ago. Now we’re on to teaching them about emotions, how the tone of their voice matters, and for the love Cayden is asking lots of questions about kissing and such. Oh I don’t like those conversations, but I face them with all the confidence I can muster and then beg God to send Aaron home quickly to follow up! I thought about how many times I am annoyed when my kids are asking 900 questions. Then I thought about all you mammas out there that have lost a child and how you would give your left arm to sit with them for 30 more minutes and teach them about choo-choo trains and puppy dogs.
Yesterday was a bad day where I spent most of my day laying on the couch watching episode after episode of Friday Night Lights while I worried about something that might or might not happen. In all my whallowing yesterday I realized that I let an entire day go by that I can never get back. It is gone. I worried all day long and now that day is over and nothing has changed. It’s the same with my kids. Some days I wish for them to be older so they will quit making the same mistakes over and over again, but then I remember that each day matters. Each year matters. I will never get Story again at the age of five. It’s gone and already accounted for. Cayden is only 10 once and then we move on. How we spend these days matters to us and to them.
Today I’m begging God to change my heart and allow me to rest in him. To cherish each day with my babies and to never wish another day away with them. To trust in his goodness over our lives, and to spend more time sitting with my kids because after they go to bed the day is over and we never get it back.