Recently Aaron and I had a little tiff after he arrived home from a trip.  He did this, I did that …. blah, blah, blah …. we were missing each other, not respecting each other and just plain fighting.  He claimed that re-entry back to life here at home was hard sometimes.  I smiled on the outside, but on the inside I was calling his bluff.  Please, re-entry is hard?!?

Then I went on vacation with Aaron for 7 days with no kids, came home for four days, and then left for London for nine days.  Today is my sucky re-entry day.  Yesterday was a great family day, and how can that suck.  Today was my first day back to school, since my kids started last week, and I was up to my eye balls in laundry, and I just didn’t handle it all well.

I had a deadline for an article that I read a hundred times today and kept feeling like a failure on.  Aaron sent me some edits he had done on it and I saw them and burst out crying at the YMCA.  Yes, the crazy mom in the corner crying.  That was me.

Then on the way home a kid was talking when I was trying to tell them something and I lost it and yelled.  It was ugly, and I’m embarrassed.

I laid in bed with Cayden and asked him if I had yelled at him and he answered me this way, “I think it would be disrespectful to you if I told you the truth.”  Basically he was telling me that yes I yelled at him and he’s trying to be sweet and not disrespect me.  I apologized and he forgave me.

Then he asked my why I was crying and I thought that my sweet 8 year old was man enough to hear that his mom was very insecure about something and it was making her emotional.  He gave me the biggest smile and told me that he was certain my article was good because I was his special mom.  Oh the tears again.

Then I sit down to watch the Olympics and those dang beach volleyball girls are amazing.  When they asked one of them if it was hard to have her family on the road, and she said that she loved having them, I cried more.  She said that they made her feel normal and she loved being a working mom.  Oh more tears.  She loves her kids and volleyball and seems to do them both well.

Oh you know what happened next …. ole’ Missy Franklin.  That sweet little 17 year old girl with the most beautiful smile ever swam her heart out tonight and I was so proud.  I was wishing I was sitting next to her mom in the stands and could hug her neck after each race.  I was crying again.  Her getting her medal was one of my favorite moments.  Bless her and all her cute 17 year old friends watching her from Colorado.

Oh this re-entry is hard.  Aaron was extremely gracious to me and held me as I cried over every stupid thing that happened today.

Tomorrow my goal is to not cry, and to be in the moment with my kids.

{Photo from London by Tiffany Wade}

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