For some reason I expected our home coming to be different.  We’ve been watching this girl grow up in pictures for 23 months.  The entire 23 months that she’s been alive.  We didn’t miss one month of her life.  I’ve visited this sweet girl 6 times and her daddy has visited her 4 times.  We’ve been in her life as much as we could from one country to the next.

And yet she doesn’t love me.

I have loved her as my child since the day I got the call about her Thanksgiving of 2007.

And yet she doesn’t love me.

I have thought of her every day of her 23 months existence.

And yet she doesn’t love me.

I have spent many nights crying and begging God to bring her to me.

And yet she doesn’t love me.

Adoption is hard.  What happened last Friday is hard.  Story was taken out of her only “norm”.  The only life she has ever known was just ripped out from under her.  She had 4 nannies that loved her dearly.  She had Licia that loved her like a daughter.  She had Lori that took care of her when she was sick and also loved her.  She had 3 crazy boys that loved her like a sister and she had her brother, Amos, that was her constant in her life.

Then I show up one day and this is not a normal visit, because she is left with me and we leave the only home she has ever known.  She is sick when we travel and we end up spending the first four nights of her life with us in the hospital.  She is not comfortable.  She is not at home.  She knows no one.

She does not love us.  YET, we love her more and more each day.  We are in awe at God’s faithfulness to bring her to us.  We are showering her with love, even when she doesn’t want to receive it.  I am her mom and she is my daughter.  She may not know this or realize this, but soon she will.

I have known adoption was hard, but now I’m living it.  Each day as Story cries and grieves the loss of the life she knew I’m faced head on with the challenges of adoption.  It is hard.  We will have hard days ahead of us.  BUT we will also have the best days of our lives ahead of us.  Our daughter is here.  She is home.

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*Here we are getting on the plane in PAP to go home.  She was asleep, as she was all day long since she was so sick.  She missed the excitement of getting on her first plane!  Poor baby.  I had been dreaming of this picture for 2 years and she slept through the whole thing!  I’m betting money that when Amos gets his picture taken like this he’ll be smiling from ear to ear!

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