Last night Aaron and I were on a date and I mentioned to him that I liked how he was doing his hair these days. He smiled, thanked me, and then told me that about 20 people have said this to him over the past two weeks and I hadn’t said a word. He wasn’t mad one bit, but was just pointing out that he’s been doing this for a few weeks and I hadn’t said a word.
We laughed about it and went on with our night, but I woke up thinking about this conversation. Had really that many people noticed something about my husband that I had failed to notice. Looking back, I realized that I had noticed but had said nothing. Too many other conversations to have. Too many other places to be. Too many other things to notice. I had simply placed this thought into a bracket in my brain that didn’t have time to be spoken out loud. This makes me sad.
One thing I try to do is to be my husband’s biggest fan. If your husband is like mine, and he leaves the house to go to his job he is encountering many other people who are fans of his. Not like music fans. Although my husband does have those (that’s still weird to me), I’m talking about supporters!! They like his work. They think he’s doing a good job. They praise him. They reward him. Heck, apparently in my situation they even notice when he starts doing his hair differently.
People had been acknowledging his change way before his own wife did. He lives with me and I never said anything. Although this was harmless and we laughed about it, these situations can be quite serious in a marriage.
Let’s imagine that a wife never noticed anything about her husband. She never complimented his new look, or his work, or even asked about his day because she has enough going on in her day, that it can be very easy to dismiss his as something that she doesn’t get or care about. Now imagine that there is a nice girl that he works with that started to notice these things, and commented on his new hair cut, acknowledged his leadership, and laughed at all his stupid jokes. I can guarantee that he would begin to be a tad bit more excited to see this new woman than even his own wife. His wife had become calloused and self-consumed, or even kid-consumed, and he was not consuming to her anymore. She was too busy in her own world to remember her husband.
Y’all this is a scary place to be in your marriage. This is a place where things happen that you swore would never happen to you and your husband. People will do crazy things to feel wanted and important and as silly as it sounds, me not mentioning his new hairdo and many others mentioning it could have made Aaron feel less important to me. I want Aaron to know that he is deeply loved and cared for by me, and that he is super important to me.
Today, notice something about your husband. Love him well. And for the love if you notice a new hairdo on Aaron send me a message and remind me to tell him how awesome it looks!