A few months into our wait during our domestic adoption we heard from a friend of a friend that they knew of an agency in San Antonio that was in need of parents that were willing to to become parents to black or biracial babies.  We knew that included us, so we told our agency (Bethany Christian Services in Nashville) what our plans were and we sent them our profile.  The lady there was super nice and told us she would begin showing it.

 

I was a super psycho waiting mom and emailed our case workers each week just to touch base, see how they were doing and how their week was going. PSYCHO is what I was.  I really just wanted to stay connected to them and keep our family on the front of their thoughts.  Psycho people.

 

The social worker in San Antonio would email us every once in a while if she was going to show our profile and so would our social worker in Nashville.  Life was moving right along when we got THE CALL that we had been waiting for all those months.  I remember exactly where I was and who was with me.  I was in our living room in Murfreesboro and my parents were visiting and it was sometime in early October.  I want to say the 4th, but my memory is fuzzy on that date.  The social worker from San Antonio called us and said that we had been chosen.  A mom had picked us!  She was due at the end of November with a baby boy.  She didn’t want to meet us and wanted a closed adoption.

 

We were over the moon excited about this new life that was to be born and maybe to be our son.  We, and especially I, were extremely bummed out about the “closed” part of our adoption.  It’s not what I wanted.  I didn’t want this.  I wanted open.  I wanted our child to know where they came from.  To truly know.  To be able to look in to the eyes of the woman that birthed him and see that he was from her body.  I wanted him to know at 12 where he truly came from.  I wanted all that,  but she didn’t.

 

I was bummed, but also super excited!  Now, we would just be on call for when she went into labor.  We were in TN and she was in TX.  I figured we’d just leave when we got the call.  We were already planning to spend Thanksgiving in TX, so this was just going to work out perfectly.

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