one of our first dates

*1999 – one of our first dates.  Meghan, Jordan (my bro), myself and Aaron

Aaron and I dated for a year and a half before we got married.  If you ask either one of us we would for sure say that we were both different then, and we have grown as a couple throughout our 10 years of being together.  I’m so thankful for growth in our lives in so many different ways, but what I’m most grateful for is that we have grown together.

So many times we see couples that change on different terms and times and it begins to cause problems in their marriage.  One person becomes more conscious of the world around them and the other only cares about their own life and before you know it they are on different pages in life.  They both start to feel as though the other person just “doesn’t get them” anymore, or that they have changed and they “aren’t the person I married”.  I have heard both of those statements and it makes my stomach hurt at the pain that they must feel from their spouse.

I would say that one thing that helped us grow together was that we were both interested in the other persons feelings.  If I was struggling with something I could talk to Aaron and he wouldn’t judge me or look down upon me.  Also if the other person was changing in an area of their life and the other wasn’t we were patient with them.  Praying for them, and still actively engaging in them as a person.  We for sure aren’t the people that the other person married.

When we got married we had no clue that 9 years later our life would look like this.  Four kids.  3 through adoption.  3 that don’t look like us.  Living in Austin.  Playing music full time.  At a kick-a church.  Loving Jesus more than ever.  Seeing more than just our little world.  Struggling to do more.  Struggling to love more.  Loving Haiti.  Wanting to live simple.  Thinking crazy thoughts about ministry.

We both evolved.  Had we not evolved I was on a one-way train to consumerism.  If there is something that I can lean towards it is that.  I have to do active things to not allow myself to struggle with those things.  I haven’t worn my wedding ring in about 2 years.   That’s another post for another day, but it became an idol for me.  I don’t get my nails done.  Sounds cheesy I know, but that became a status for me.  I struggle in that area.

We have evolved.

We are evolving.

Thank goodness we don’t still look like those two little kids in that picture above!

jamie walking

*2009 – photo by Jen Cota

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