31 BIG final Dear Jamie in 1998,

I want to tell you something that you might not enjoy or like, but what you are doing is wrong.  Very wrong.  You keep justifying this in your mind and heart by saying that it’s not your responsibility, and he’s pursuing you, but the truth is you know that he has a girlfriend.  You know this and you continue to hang out with him anyways.

You feel as though this isn’t your job to stop this, that he should because he’s the one with a girlfriend in another city, but you are so wrong.  So very wrong.  You see going out on a date with a guy that has a girlfriend is not what girls do to other girls.  We don’t live a life of deceit.

What I want you to know the most is that this is a character decision on your part.  It seems innocent enough now, but in a few years when real big things are at stake it’s not that innocent.  What would be the difference between this guy and a guy that was married.  Nothing.  It’s not only his job.  It’s your job as well.  Don’t throw the blame on him and you walk away innocently.

I want you to take a step back and look at this through a different lens.  Look at this as if this was one of your girlfriends boyfriends.  You would be astonished if someone did this to your friend.  View it the same.

Jamie, quit hanging out with the guy with a girlfriend in another state.  You are stooping quite low here.

Love,

Jamie in 2013