A couple of months ago I had a really hard conversation with someone that I love dearly. It was at that point in the night when you’ve talked about everything and the real stuff starts to come out. The real feelings are exposed and those deep talks that will be engrained in your mind forever happen.
I have grown up in a family where sarcasm is easy for us. We can make a joke about anything, and if it’s something that bothers you or you don’t really want to talk about you just use sarcasm. That works every time. We are jokesters. We make people laugh. We are good at laughing at you (in love of course) , or with you, whatever the time might call for.
This night around our table in the backyard someone I love shared their heart with me. All my years of joking had hurt them. All the years of us against him wasn’t funny anymore. All the years of laughing with him had hardened his heart towards me.
You see I had lost sight of something at the cost of getting in a good laugh. I had lost sight of the person. The person was hurting with each jab and with each laugh, and I’m embarrassed to say I never noticed the hurt behind the grin of my jokes.
When this person shared his heart my heart crumbled. My initial response could have been to be defensive towards him. You never told me I was hurting you. You joked about this too. You jabbed back most of the time. You are being too sensitive. Grow up. But in that moment none of those words came out. You know why. Because it didn’t matter what I thought one bit, what mattered was that someone I loved was hurt and he was looking in my eyes and telling me that I was the one that hurt him. I could say nothing in this moment exempt how sorry I was. How bad I felt for not recognizing this years ago. How I would never want to use my words to hurt anyone, much less this person that I love so much.
I was so sorry.
In that moment one of my favorite stupid sayings became so true. Sarcasm leads to scarcasm. Sarcasm only goes so far before someone gets hurt. Sarcasm can leave scars on someones heart and soul.
Our words matter. Let’s remember that. Make the words you utter count for good and not in hurting someone’s heart.